Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
