It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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