Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
