So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
