he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
not ubering you a puppy
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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