i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
