ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
