so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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