and next time when you feel me up, do it right
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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