Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
