So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
