my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
