wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
