oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
