If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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