I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
