when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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