Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
