maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.