Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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