Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?