I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?