I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
