There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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