He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
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Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
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If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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