Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize