see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
