Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
