I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
