I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
