I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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