and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I stole a fireplace last night.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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