Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
