you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
