I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
pop tarts are not kleenex
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
