i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
