CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
