You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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