Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
