plz talk dirty to me
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
