You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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