to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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