you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
