Midget sex pt 2 tonight
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My vagina is very pro this idea
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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