I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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