im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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