So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize