sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
