this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
