Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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