This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
