sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
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We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
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Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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