yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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