his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
