i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
