i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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