Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
