woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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